Thursday, February 9, 2012

Forgive the grammar.....and the punctuation.


What do you know? What can you do? The only thing I have ever been able to do without extended knowledge is operate machinery. I can sit in any machine you put me in and within a few hours work it like a pro; in some cases better than those that have done it for years. I can sit in a 58 ton machine and feel it like it is a part of my body. I can feel the slightest vibration even though the entire machine is vibrating all over. I can feel it. I have tried to explain this to people I have trained but they don't get it. I got a job once by telling the interviewer that I don't know how to operate but I know how to feel the machine. I replaced their operator permanently in 6 days; he had been operating this particular machine for 5 years. He was mad. I understand but he couldn't feel the machine. So how does this pertain to a literacy journey? I don't know other than I want more knowledge of the things that interest me. I love some many subjects, and explore so many things in this world and I want to know more. I want to know why mound ants, mound. I want to know why moss grows where it grows. I want to know why we dream; and why we fail. I want to know why a porn star is a porn star. I want to know why everyone thinks I am weird. I want to know why I need to have a job and why we need money.



I think most of all I want to express myself better. I have all these things, ideas, swimming around in my head. I want to know how to calm my brain that is going a thousand miles per hour all the time. There is not enough time for all these things in one day, or a year, or a lifetime.



Maybe, through my college experience, I will find a way. I will find a focus. Perhaps I will meet the right instructor to help me in this journey. I am hoping I can get up the guts to be more sociable with my fellow students; and learn from them. I am hoping for long lasting friendships with like minded people; and even those that are not so like minded. I honestly like to know both sides of any issue or idea.